Home

Home? Knowing a place like the back of your hand and keeping it in your heart. I have many of them and so I was so excited when we started our 'Home' project. Both good things and bad things happened with this and I can't say whether I liked it very much in the end..

Firstly it was a great opportunity to see how all of us would work together and who would naturally become the organiser and who would be more artistically inclined, etc? Finally I was getting to work with more people than before and it would give me a glimpse of how the next three years might turn out. I got that. Some of it wasn't too pretty if I'm brutally honest.

Tensions ran sky-high and no-one was too sure on how to say it. We pulled together on the big day and we accomplished some fantastic shots and I really felt like we bonded on our trip to big ol' Loch Lomond (I love my country sometimes, the views up there...wow) A niggling but kept biting me though and it was when we'd shoot and everyone was doing a bit of this and a bit of that – none of our roles were terribly clear. I think it was wrong to ever say the word 'collaborative.' Sure, it sounded good and looked nice on paper but in practise? Nuh-uh. I was frustrated when it seemed some were being a bit greedy and kept insisting on bossing people about. There was a huge communication break down and we were cutting over each other and I know more than 4 people out of the 7 were completely ignored at times. I don't want to lay the blame at anyone's door but I was disappointed...in myself as well. I struggled to find a way to cope with the tenseness and it resulted in myself being irritable or shut off from the task in hand because I felt I'd get ignored anywayIt's something we all need to work on because in the industry no one is going to be faster to fill your shoes if you don't contribute and stand in the corner for whatever reason or by throwing your weight about and saying things you know people aren't going to appreciate.

That all said, I really enjoyed putting a 2 min film from scratch. The planning was fun and the shoot itself gave me a boost when I knew that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life – standing there, with an image in my head and then creating it. Yeah, there was lots I'd do differently but that's what we're here for: to learn. We can't be perfect and the best we can do now is take from the project, all the good things and channel them into the next project!