We've all done things...

It has been a year since I saw The Hurt Locker. I watched that again and it didn’t let me down – it’s still a beautiful and hauntingly film which inspires me to make films which make my audiences cry and smile, like I did. So I was looking forward to The Dry Land but was different to what I thought it’d be – but in a good way.

It was different because it was about what happens in the wake of returning, not about how is like to serve, and so this time there was a much more of a disappointed slant on the war – what I mean is that in The Hurt Locker I end up feeling that it was worthwhile – all the pain was worth it because they loved it. With James, the main protagonist in The Dry Land, I felt that his service, his sacrifice and pain was futile. The performance was amazing, right from the start I could feel the character through his eyes – the blue of them was hauntingly empty. He managed to tell me that the war is not an imaginary story, or a clever metaphor or something that is far far away; it is right here with the families that get left behind and it is brought home in the eyes of the men who return.

The Dry Land is a movie which has a slow pace but it’s full enough to keep us interested as we see James wonder what he doing here, back home and where is home anyway? It's not back over in Iraq and it's not here. Him and his wife, Sarah (America Ferrara) live on the outbacks of Texas - Diane Henderson gives a good review, but it was slightly misleading in the fact that Ferrara ‘shows true range as Sarah’, the main protagonist’s wife. True, Ferrara gives a solid performance and is not unlikable but the review insinuates that we would see more of her character development. Instead she is much more of a minor character than I expected. However, this does not affect the film as a whole in the slightest. On the contrary, each character supports the central performance of Ryan O’Nan, who plays the Iraq veteran, incredibly well. Not for a moment does the audience feel that we are losing him to other performances and we grow to see more of his thoughts with each scene.

The camerawork is not entirely steady, but this is good, because at the same time we can feel like we are part of the scene just that little bit more, but the wavering lines tell us that not all is well, their life together is unsecure.

As James struggles to find his memories, he struggles with day-to-day life as well. Taking on the job at the abattoir we are given a scene, which is incredibly simple, yet tragic. As James is shown what to do with the cow, we watch him recoil emotionally as the blood streams from the animal. The direction was great here because there was no coyness displayed – we saw every step of the electrocution – just as a soldier would experience every step of killing another man.

Small twists of humour keep the movie from becoming a swamp of darkness for the audience to be dragged through – later on, when James has found his friend, Raymond, you can’t help but laugh when he replies to James asking if his wife was cool with this (he’s just jumped in James’s truck and they’re about to take an unplanned road trip) you suddenly hear her shouting after him: “Yeah, we should probably go..”

The movie is well balanced but I definitely welled up at two points. First when, after James has found out what happened out there (he was suffering from memory loss and had gone to see his other friend, who he had saved, to find out from him), his friend Jason asks him: “Did you find what you were looking for?” and he can’t give much more of an answer than a slight nod. Is it really best to dig for the truth and fill back up what your mind has instinctively hidden and protected you from? Secondly and lastly was when James’s mother, as she is dying, tells him “We’ve all done things, James.” I felt was such a true example of someone else trying to offer him a small piece of solace and redemption – we all do things, nobody goes through life without a regret and so the best we can do afterwards is try to move on and recognise you can’t change the past.

Lots of small things impressed me with this film. It was a film which made me think things like: who is the luckiest one?; what have we done?; is it better to know or not to know?

So, it’s all coming to an end: first year. It’s been a real tough journey sometimes, but I’m glad I’ve done it. Thing is, I’m on this journey every single day, whether I’m at uni or not and I’m learning all the time. I ended today in an unusual way – on a swing. Yesterday I opened an email from David:

‘Hey, i'll be performing in kelvingrove park in a tree near the fountain tomorrow. From 5am untill midnight.

Come find me.

David. X’

I went along at about half past 10 in the evening and it was raining. It was strange because there was hardly anyone else in the park and the person I was with, Ronan, was in a Paul Smith suit with a massive red umbrella and I couldn’t find David to start with. I felt a bit like a twat but then I suddenly saw him, a dark wet smudge on a swing, talking to another guy. I have been to this place in the park a few times before, with the same guy I was with tonight actually, and I’ve grown to be really quite fond of the place. I thought of that later and I was thinking how interesting it is, how we can attach feelings to a place or a song very quickly and strongly.

Anyway, when David invited us over to sit with him, he told us that he had been there from 5am and would be there until midnight, 19 hours, each hour signifying each year of his life. He had started conversations up with random people and people he knows, like me, alike by discussing their views on how our relationships are formed, and how we are shaped – is it by the conversations and interactions we have with other people, our families and our friends and just other people?

I liked this idea. It appeals to me because I have happened to meet lots and lots and lots of different people and some have been a lot more interesting than others, to me anyway, but they’ve all given me something, somehow. Point is, I’d like my characters to have this. By ‘this’ I mean meaningful, honest (in the way they happen, I don’t mean for all my characters to never lie!) and realistic conversations, emotions and scenarios. People really do sit on swings and talk to each other when they’re 19 and 24 years old. People really do stand in the rain, even when they have a big ass umbrella with them and fall out, only to explain why a minute later and then walk on, okay again. People really do things that they mean, and things that they don’t mean. People really do remember things from when they’re two, three years old and some remember things that can’t be true…I want all my films, shows and projects to remember this and to treat people like people.

After a long conversation we’re asked to write what we are feeling at that moment in the book he has brought along and David takes a picture of us both. The bells toll and before we leave David tells us that he’s glad to have spent 34 minutes of these 19 hours with us and we walked home..

Films, for me, are a way and a place to share my memories, my points of view, my beliefs, my stories, my preconceptions, my daydreams, my journey, my life. I am using them to communicate, just like David is using his performances to communicate and interact and learn and share his emotions, knowledge, beliefs and ideas with others. I want my films to leave people sitting in their seats that little bit longer as the credits roll up, because it made them feel something unexpected, or it’s making them think. Not neccsarily agreeing with what I have chosen to say or show, I don’t mind if they disagree, because each and every opinion is different but as long as they feel something strongly, and perhaps want to act on it, or it helps them in a way. I want my films to be lovely, exciting, beautiful, scary, funny, long, short, truthful, unusual, confusing and smart at the same time, appropriate but not shying away from things that need and must be said – because all those things are what life’s moments are made up of, isn’t it?

**

I am standing under a big tree and the café is behind me, where my mother is. The boys are up in the tree and we’re playing a game. You have to get these blue square bits of clay, as many as you can and the one with the most wins, but I can’t get them because I’m too small to get up the tree. I am jealous but happy at the same time because the boys are smiling at me and it is hot. Then one of the boys, I think it is Robbie, takes my hand and gives me five small blue square bits of clay. I smile.

our pusuit.......

This part of my life....this little part ....right here is called "Happiness."  
 
This is the second time I've watched The Pursuit of Happyness but I wanted to just write abou t a couple of moments which caught my eye especially. 

This shot sequence only lasts three frames but nevertheless very moving as the lighting, performance, dialogue and music all come together to make what is an incredibly poignant moment. Little Chris suddenly questions why his mom left and thinks it was because of him. You can see the anguish on his father's face that his son should have been thinking of this, alone and suffering in another way than he knew. It's one moment a parent never wants to face because he had a life with his partner and they wanted to share a future and a family together and the disappointment in the failure of a marriage and possibly in yourself about exactly how and why and when it all came undone is huge. How do you explain that to your child? Another great line is said: "Mom left because of Mom." 
This line tenderly yet bluntly speaks the truth - some people cannot handle being parents and being strong for others because they can only bear their own weight. Those people leave. And Chris Gardner is able to explain this to his son simply and honestly but doesn't leave him in any doubt of his own self worth.      
The following shot is of the same mood: tender and simple. We see Smith's face and unexpectedly we then see his son's hand touch his chin. His little hand is so small next to Smith's face but the lighting makes his hand lighter. This a reflection of the boy's innocence and shows the contrast: Gardner is weary and older, older than his own years (there is contrast in the lighting of their faces as well; Will Smith's face is colder and more blue but his son's lit with a warmer, tungsten light) but his son is able to offer him solace and comfort: "You're a good papa."
There is an interesting decision to use the word 'papa' - I'm nt exactly sure how, but it strikes a certain cord. After the son never referring to him as anything other than 'dad', it's a surprise to hear him say this word as it's not often used when you're as young as that, and more so when you're much older. The line could almost be said by a grown up comforting his old father that his childhood was a good and happy one. 

Another scene which touched me is Smith's performance when Gardner finds out when he's got the place out of the pool of 20. The journey the protagonist has made so far has been full of misfortunes as he pursues happiness but has seemed to be denied it at every turn. But now, his hard work and graft and determindnation has paid off, at last. This news, as we know, will mean 
The few shots that impressed me the most, start when Smith runs down the steps into the swarm of commuters and society. Smith moves as someone would in a state of shock. The music, for the most part, is the only audible thing in this sequence and gives what we see more significance as gives it breath and space. The noise of the city is not given and for that we can start to experience the overwhelming expanse of Gardner's joy and pure happiness. Smith moves his hands as if reassuring himself, in a way someone does if planning something or perhaps when reminding yourself of a plan or someone who is retreating into their mind and speaks to themslves as a source of and reaction for comfort. The sequence is edited so the action is in slow motion which matches the soft music and offers a furher insight how Gardner is perceiving the world at that moment in his shock. His figure stands out in the crowd as his face crumples with emotion: relief, joy, pride, a trusting of own worth....the shot follows him as he turns in a circle in the sea of bobbing heads. The lines on Smith's forehead are creased with something beyond normal happiness... and he presses his hands to his mouth. It is as if he cannot even believe himself and it's very apt for his character as he wouldn't be one to yell and punch the air as some might expect after such news. Instead he claps. It's unexpected but fitting. He is with no one else so he can't hug anybody but he claps for himself and for the fortune which is giving safety and protection for his son. As the music reaches a slight crescendo you can almost physically see Gardner's joy as the focal point is pinpointed directly onto Smith. 

There are lots of things I like and love about this film but those two moments struck a deep chord with me with their coming together of elements which make a perfect shot.      

So far......

I've been looking at my books on storyboarding to prepare what Megan, Chris and I will be doing next week for The Root of Love. Mainly there is a large emphasis on the lighting and the moods you can create on screen from such decisions. I want to try and make the mood lighthearted and summery because that's the feel I get from the script and I'd love to use watercolours for the storyboard but I'm worried that I'll be putting almost too much detail into a thing that will need a lot drafting.... But I've always thought the more detail and effort you put into a project, no matter how small or basic, then the end result will be all the much better. Just looking forward to sitting down with Meg and Chris to see what they think and to get creative! 

The auditions went well and the call back auditions are tomorrow at 2 so I will be filming them again. I felt we are working well as a team but there needs to be more communication in the way of knowing exactly who to go to for what and we've not yet had a group meeting which makes it difficult to know what our objectives are as a group. Personally I feel the schedule is a bit odd as the whole thing is sligtly staggered. Obviously it is up to each dept to go away and work and prepare themselves for what lies ahead and do as much groundwork as possible, but the scripts are still being redrafted and so it makes it hard to think ahead sometimes. I would have liked the whole process to had started a while back and so we could have started together with a finalised script from the word go. Another thing I'm not totally satisfied with is that there has not yet been any feedback for our scripts and I'd appreciate any type of feedback, especially as i have a lot of thoughts about my last draft. I wasn't happy with it and I am still passionate about my orgininal script and so would like feedback on how to develop rather than leave it there. 

On the other hand i'm looking forward to the call back auditions tomorrow and so we can cast the film and then one stage will have been successfully completed! 

:) xo

CCS2 – Part One - Group One: The Last Picture Show

Set in the period between WW2 and the Korean Conflict in a town where 'a person can't sneeze in this town without somebody offerin' him a handkerchief', this film plods through the “coming-of-age” for two best friends: Sonny and Duane.

Sure, the theme of coming-of-age is a veritable one and not every film can be all action, but I want to tell Peter Bagdanovich that making a film with:

• a boring town
• boring people
• boring lives

will equal a boring film. This recipe is one for drooling chins and agonising pauses only.

The content is not awful, just sad: sleeping around for kicks, sordid pathetic affairs, trashy naked pool parties and copious amounts of indecent groping, but the way it's filmed is painful. I sat waiting for each scene to pass over with every reaction and action was slapped onto the screen with no reason but to extend the running time.

The only scene that didn't fail to send to into another fit of 'when will this end' was when Louis talks about her affair with Sam. It is strangely touching to see this woman, past her prime, talk of the one time she has ever experienced love with such resignation.

Although there was no plot to speak of, and some scenes should have not stayed in the film (where was there a need for child abuse?!), what I took away from the film was that you always go back to who will always wait.

"the midnight express .... it doesn't stop around here"

What a fantastic day!

We had our first class with Abigail who is going to be sharing her knowledge about producing in films with us over the next couple weeks. I found her class intensive because we were squeezing it in before 3pm (for Oliver Stone) but nevertheless really informative and fun.

I learned A LOT about production in less than three hours and I liked how Abigail showed us a lot of examples on the computer of forms used and how she went through each aspect of the process. Another thing I learned was the 1^st AD really works as a producer, not as a director’s assistant!

I had had no idea just how much organization that a producer undertakes! So much paperwork! But the satisfaction by carrying a film from A, its birth, to Z, way beyond the ‘wrap’, must be amazing. I love being organized because when I can and actually do it, it feels great. But I don’t think my talent is this, to be honest! What I’d love to have the detail of Abigail’s class on the subject of being DoP or a director because those are the area I’m particularly interested in. I kind of feel I don’t know exactly what the job description is for those jobs and Abigail totally gave us that inside out with production. So, whilst I look forward to the next class, I want to see this with directing and being a DoP.

I was immensely inspired by Oliver Stone. I’d prepared myself to be disappointed by him because most of my experiences with celebrated figures, especially directors, have been somewhat of a let down because of their arrogance. But he came across as lovely man who had a lot to say and as Adam said: “I hope he never shuts up.”

I’ve only watched one of his films, that being The Midnight Express but it’s a brilliant film and one that I was brought up to be excited about (I had to wait a long time before I was allowed to see it and my mum lived in Turkey for 3 years and there is much more to be said, but this is not the place!) So I was excited to see the guy behind the name. He has obviously worked incredibly hard and has had a very rich and full life, which came through what he talked about being a soldier in Vietnam and his views on America and life in general.

He came up to us all afterwards and we all acted a bit star struck and I fear I came across as quite simple when he had to ask me how old I was THREE times before I could squeak “19”! Pathetic! But hey, I’ll never wash my chin again and I got a great gansta handshake from him! (You had to be there.) He was so nice, a bit like a cuddly granddad, and asked us all what Glasgow was like and various other things! He also played ‘got your nose’ with Ada, haha, this afternoon was definitely one of my most amusing ones at the Academy!

What did his being here mean for me though? Well I was able to step back slightly and look at how a few things. Firstly, that I’m really lucky for a whole bunch of reasons. One of them is being able to study and find my talents and ways to stretch myself in the right directions at the Academy. Secondly, I’ve had so many opportunities and experiences in my life that will inevitable seep into my work as an artist, and I will always try and find new ways to make my films and programmes link to my life and the things I’ve learned from it– because that is how you can reach out and speak to so many different individuals at the same time. Today gave me one of those nudges you need when you catch yourself becoming a little tired, or lazy, or confused why and what you’re doing and so I’m really happy because I feel that another realisation has clicked; I know I’m in the right place to get where I need and want to be as a film maker.

I do need to push myself out of my comfort zone more often and I also need to explore what I like and bring it into my work. I hope to take kit out over the next few weekends we have left before the summer so I can investigate what I can create without the pressure of a project or satisfying someone else.

Though, I am looking forward to making our final film of the year and I really hope that two of our scripts are chosen, as opposed to one blow up doll script and one independent script. The reason behind this is because, although the scripts got stronger for the blow up doll idea, I still feel that our own ideas are much easier and have much more room for exploration and getting deeper with themes than with a lilo! We all have tutorials with Richard tomorrow evening so we will be able to develop our scripts further and then see if they will be produced. I would love to produce/direct one of the films but I’d really really like to be DOP as I want to explore this particular role much more.

Anyway, we’ll see what happens. On that note, I’ll be back on soon to tell you what progress has been made by next week!

candid....

I was on the crew for filming Candid Cabaret on both Sunday and Monday night. I really enjoyed the atmosphere and the process of filming the postgraduates on the MT course. I know quite a few of them personally so it was great to watch them perform professionally and see what their job is.

The definition of ‘cabaret’ is quite simple:

1. a floor show of dancing, singing, or other light entertainment at a nightclub or restaurant

2. Chiefly US a nightclub or restaurant providing such entertainment

But I didn’t really know what to expect when I went to Oran Mor and so I was pleasantly surprised. Each and every one of the performances was original and unique to the performer. I hadn’t realised that so much of the acts would be stand up comedy. I usually avoid and resist this type of entertainment because I always say that I won’t be able to hear the jokes properly etc (and I sometimes don’t, which annoys the crap out of me when everyone around me is wetting themselves), I was able to enjoy the humour greatly.

On Sunday I was using the PDX10 for the stage (voted in to use because I am the smallest...yay) which I enjoyed very much as I got the opportunity to use a different piece of equipment. There is much less prep involved for using this camera and it’s a nifty wee thing but the downsides were that it didn’t react well to the low lighting. The lighting caused a lot of chiaroscuro which meant I had to use a lot of different angles in attempt to get a nice image. Perhaps in post it’ll look different ...Only after did I think of using gain but there you go. My back was really aching by the end though, because the strain of carrying that thing is really a lot as you’re only using one hand and over two hours!

I got to try lots of different angles and get up quite close without being intrusive to either the audience or the performers (I hope.) I tried to get an equal balance of footage from both sides of the stage and I managed to get some good shots of the backing singers at the far back of the stage too. I also concentrated on their hands and extreme close ups of their faces that I thought might be useful in post.

Since the crews essentially worked on communication and passing things on I thought Flick and I did well on this aspect. It was so simple but so important that we kept a list of the equipment and made sure everything was secure down to the smallest cables. We were given a lot of responsibility which I liked and everything seemed to go quite smoothly. Both groups I worked with all came together to put on a comprehensive effort. This time I took on the 570 at the back for the ‘MID’ shot. I enjoyed this as well (my back didn’t hurt so much, but this time my feet really suffered!) and everything ran very smoothly. After each act we changed tapes and every two acts we changed batteries and this all worked out well. Though I had a wee scare when one battery looked like it was going to die on me but I just crossed my legs and check it constantly and it didn’t! Phew! Over exposure looked like it might be a problem at one point and so I played about with it for a bit but then decided that it would be annoying for the editor if I kept doing it every 2 minutes so I left it and hopefully it’ll be okay. We helped each other out when setting up and de-rigging and we pulled it off.

Some performances were just hilarious and I got a good insight in how performers can hold an audience is a small environment like Oran Mor and what made them laugh and what didn’t. Also it was interesting to see the performers use thei r everyday lives and personal matters in their work which is something I can relate to hugely, especially when writing.

I’d love to have gone to see the rest of Candid Cabaret but as this week is just so busy for me I haven’t been able to! But I’m so glad I got to enjoy the work of MT and learn more about using DFTV equipment at the same time! Would gladly do it all over again!

For next time:

• Wear proper shoes, ones that actually support my feet

• Buy a black fleece and wear more layers

• Use gain

• Take water and a sandwich and therefore save a copious amount of money

Stagecoach

I don’t watch Westerns often nor do I like them all that much. But Stagecoach was worth sitting down for! The editing was very swift especially during the chase scenes and I found myself really rooting for both sides at the same time! I found certain parts really moving such as when Mrs. Mallory prays in the coach and does not even look at Hatfeild when he points the gun at her, to spare her an undignified death from the Indians.

The ending is full of tension which I have never seen in films before. The silence is overbearing and I felt as if in the room myself and if I was I could have heard a pin drop. Even then there is some humour – who walks in to their pub to find himself looking down 5 barrels! The time is taken to build up the tension over ‘real’ time instead of just cutting to the shoot out, which is what would happen today. I appreciated this and it made me feel that there was more depth to the ending than to be expected from a Western. Ringo is aliiiiiive! - The way they don't actually show the shoot out is much more exciting and you find yourself feeling what Dallas is -is he dead?

I enjoyed Stagecoach but I did wish It was in colour because I felt restricted in terms of being able to immerse myself into the story. 4 stars.

Who do you want to be your next Prime Minister?

It surprised me when I found out that this is the first time these Prime Ministerial Debates have ever been televised. Though the only reason I watched it was because it was on the channel when I switched it on.. and I kept it on which I really am glad I did.

I actually enjoyed and learned some snippets of new information which helped me decide who I voted for today. But between all the repeating and the snitching I had to concentrate on keeping track of what the question was really asking, and when the boys were actually doing a half baked attempt to actually answer the question, I had to wade through the high brow language too. There was little depth to most of their answers – Clegg mad e a dance and song about focussing on the people asking the questions and not detailing his plans. Tory denied making the cuts Labour said they would and vice versa. A lot of different people would be watching this and so I often felt too clever AND too stupid to understand what they were saying most of the time.

The debate is useful; it allowed me to judge how they defended their country and see if they had any sense of trustworthiness about them. However I have got most of my information, not from the horse’s mouth, but from the newspapers and by looking up their manifestos online.

"Second to the right and straight on till morning!"

It hurt me to be walking out of the King's Theatre regretting the last two hours or so on Wednesday. This was the first time I'd seen Peter Pan on the theatrical stage and I was really excited to be seeing a story I hold close to my heart. There were some brilliant moments in the play where you could catch a glimpse of what John Tiffany and David Grieg were seeing but it was marred by a huge mess of a cumbersome set (though I was impressed when they transformed into sails) and a huge lack of imagination for such a magical story.

You might as well have driven a knife in my gut when the push along dog came onto the stage. I am sure that a real dog is against health and safety protocol but anything, anything would have been better than that thing. I was expecting at least a guy in a dog suit. The maids were ridiculous and I felt sorry for every kid in there. In fact I felt sorry for everybody.

Stage movements were awkward, the revolving chunks took up so much space the actors had no freedom and the ugly harnesses did not help in the slightest. And excuse me, Mr Tiffany, what were you thinking when you took out that beautiful scene when Pan leads Wendy, John and Michael out of their window across the sky? It was like walking into the Sistine Chapel only to find the Creation of Adam rubbed out of the ceiling!

The feeling I always got from Peter Pan was that it's timeless. The Forth Road Bridge whacked a certain date and era on it and yes, yes I know that every version has the characters donned in some sort of Victorian costume but mainly they are in their nightclothes and the point is meant to be their time spent in Neverland. The time in this story is meant to be fluid as water and so why the huge emphasis on something that is essentially unimportant? Do we really care about where Mr Darling works? Not really.

The fourth wall was broken when Tink made her entrance and I loved it. She came in from the top right balcony and onto the stage. That was a millisecond of a whole audience being enveloped in magic but they should have had more of this. Peter flying across the theatre would have been amazing or am I being to ambitious and dreamy? But I really loved their interpretation of Tinkerbell. The flame was ingenious - a person would have been too big and awkward to capture the essence of the fairy. A flame meant her size was small, but her spirit is just as big as your imagination. It meant she could fly all over the stage on an invisible wire, enticing the audience into the true magic of Peter Pan.

The violence was a little shocking. I'm not saying I was expecting an a neat and polite conversation between Hook and Pan but I was disappointed at the lack of elegant parrying with respectable swords and was left instead with taste of fist fighting and animal aggressiveness. I would have just stood on Queen Street at 3am to observe the drunk lads getting hot under the collar if I really wanted to see all that...

However, there is a brilliant scene when Pan is pushed off the plank into the swell of the ocean. It was FABULOUS. Everything just went perfectly together. People ran onto the stage to push him down further into the growl of the sea, created by strong blue lights cast onto the bottom half the stage, Guthrie struggles against the men/sea, the music pounded and Peter shot into a yellow beam which showed in a split second he was resurfacing. Beautiful!

Though call me traditional, but where was the epic kiss with Wendy and Peter? I missed that. There were gaps like these all over the place and as a result the play felt rather bleak and empty, with the lack of romance and it was top heavy with creepy violence, with no gentle love to balance it out.

There was a certain potent energy in Kevin Guthrie (Pan) and it was interesting to see his sinister anger mix with his childish cheekiness but this was lost with stuttered dialogue between characters and an unconvincing relationship with every character, especially Wendy and Captain Hook. (Why on earth did they make Hook able to 'fly'? That is just completely made up.) The most chilling moment though, was at the very last moment, you suddenly see a flash of the past and the future all at once when Wendy's nine year old daughter wakes to ask Pan 'why are you crying?' as did her mother all those years ago. Guthrie lets out another howl and you are haunted by the thought that it will happen all over again..

I'll just stay with my battered book and let my imagination tell me the story when I look at the painting of the fairies dancing around Peter on the wall at home....

"I didn't think she was a kangaroo!"

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this film despite the lengthiness of it. I found Harold Russell (sailor Homer Parrish) and Myrna Loy (Al’s wife, Milly Stephenson) particularly compelling to watch. Why?

Because they are both very strong characters who were enjoyable to watch. Milly is a 'strong woman' and she does not even need to go through a phase being 'strengthened' by a series of bad events. She carries on exactly as she has been doing when Al was away and whilst she welcomes him back to their life together she does not back down from being open minded and from guiding her daughter.

She quietly lets her husband re adjust to their world and she openly expresses her own frustrations (at his dependancy on alcohol) but without letting go her faith in their marriage. She's strong in that she leaves her lover behind and moves on, entirely focussed on her life with Al.

Moreover, her character and the relationship between her and Al were entirely believable. They disagree over how many drinks he should have and there are awkward moments such as when she takes him breakfast in the morning (she indicates for him to sit down on the bed and he doesn't so she ends up just leaving it on the bed) …. but they work hard to be honest with each other and treat each other with respect. A moment which encapsulates this is when she replies to her daughter:

[after Peggy (her daughter) tells her parents that they never had any trouble in their relationship]

Milly: "We never had any trouble." How many times have I told you I hated you and believed it in my heart? How many times have you said you were sick and tired of me; that we were all washed up? How many times have we had to fall in love all over again?

Homer was not always necessarily strong (he refuses to accept help often) but his performance was nevertheless fascinating to watch because he characterized a mental battle which can either make or break you when dealing with coming home from war. Not only is his character dealing with that but he's unsure how to deal with the emotional effects of no longer having his hands. Away from home such sights (his metal claws) were much more common and accepted he could carry out his tasks with great efficiency but when faced with hugging his sweetheart on his return he's unprepared. He embodies this well by possessing a lively humour with his lines but also effectively performing the mix of frustration, pride and the desire to let Wilma, his girl, to not be held back even though he still loves her.

I found that The Best Years of Our Lives reached beyond its era – it gave me an insight into that period of time which I didn't expect and I enjoyed it's humorous script and simplicity in events.

How The Other Half Live

When I first saw the adverts for this new series I saw the money of Secret Millionaire and the concept of Wife Swap with a new twist. Which it is ...but not quite.

Families living in poverty show us their situation and then they are sponsored by wealthy families who feel that 'charity comes from the home' or that their children need to see the real world. Which comes across as dangerous ground for pretentious and embarrassing scenarios when either the rich family end up just throwing money at the poor or having a family in poverty not being gracious or thankful. In fact I have that feeling of dread a lot when watching these types of documentaries (Supernanny, The World's Strictest Parents….)

So I was pleasantly surprised when I watched Episode 3 in the new series and saw how the poverty that Annie and Zofia were living in was not self inflicted. Zofia's company had gone bust and the debts had accumulated, made worse when she lost her cleaning job because she had taken her 8 year old into work for an hour before school…

By the end of the programme I felt I had taken away a sense of more perspective about how giving money to others, in such a way, need not be pretentious and condensing but instead empowering. I thought Julia (the sponsor) might have ended offering Zofia a job at her firm which would have been embarrassing but instead she and her husband invested in Zofia's business.

I was really interested because the 'poor' family weren't complaining or asking for money which made the show feel more authentic and clean whereas on similar shows it sometimes feels dramatised to the point of embarrassing themselves, for example, on Supernanny some parents go the extra mile in being awful in front of the cameras.

In general I'm watching documentaries a great deal more because they are letting me know about our society in fresh formats which come across as fun to watch although, lots of them seem to like having a huge 'feel-good' factor for the viewer, which is interesting that we need to feel gratified by seeing a 'happily ever after'.

"Well…it's like Who Am I? but with teaspoons!"

I learned a heap with our guest speaker, Colin Cameron, on Tues this week. Basically he gave us a brief on the relationship between the broadcaster and the producer, how commissioning works, how to make a show happen, the challenges that independents face, tips on how to be the best producer in the world!

Commissioners

They hold money and air time: you need both for successful TV. “The person holding the purse strings and access to schedules is the one you want to look for.”

- InIncreasingly they come from marketing, scheduling or audience research backgrounds

- Tthey are obsessive: they will watch the overnights and base decisions on how well a programme does in a particular slot; whether it improved on that slot from the year before etc and this method applies to whether on BBC, ITV, Channels 4 & 5 and digital channels too.

- MMove to the producer to solve their problems and to secure their repuatation as a trustworthy channel etc

- CCommissioners, now, are deeply involved in every step of the project to ensure that it will gratify the needs of their specific slot, channel and audience.

- TTHEY WILL TAKE THE CREDIT IF THE SHOW IS A SUCCESS

- IF IF IT IS A FLOP THEN IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

It was also apparent that it is increasingly tough to get a show off the ground because commissioners rarely fund the project themselves now. Apparently they’ll put up a certain amount but it’s progressively more expected for US to bring the money, particularly with drama and more and more with documentaries…. The way you get money to float a show sounds kinda dodgy to me, for example ad-funded programming because it’s hard to maintain the editorial worth whist meeting the needs of the advertisers too. On the hand I thought format exploitation sounded really smart: you take the shape of the programme and then replace the onscreen talent with your own country’s famous people. It makes programmes really marketable and if you can propose format exploitation in the pitch, then it’s so much more likely to get bought/funded. That’s why Days That Shook The World did well because it had a voiceover and no talking heads in it, so then other countries just had to dub it in their own language.

Producers:

-BrBring the talent and ideas to the table

- TTurn an idea into compelling T

We did an exercise on tendering and this, whilst being fun and being the source of my title (courtesy of Murray!), it showed me just what commissioners may choose and why. We were given the options of three programmes.

BBC History had said they wanted a new popular history magazine format for early evening BBC2. We had to imagine we were the commissioners and make a decision as to which project to go with. Key points we had to think about were: the time slot, to think economically (which one would have the best returns) and editorially. Out of four groups no-one picked the one which actually got commissioned! I had thought another programme (Six Degrees) had looked the most promising on returns, popularity and had potential format exploitation. But this programme was picked because of the success of the American version that is now in its 7^th series. So commissioners

a) get scared with big budgets (Six Degrees had a MUCH larger budget than any other programme being tendered.)

b) pick programmes that have a safe format and don’t look risky…

Things that crossed my mind:

- Will ‘talent’ take over TV? In other words will the only way we will be able to sell programmes is with an ‘expert’ or a ‘celebrity/well-known kinda guy’?

- Does EVERYTHING have to be sold on the price over quality?! Going back to The Days That Shook The World – it was sold on its cheapness and it was a combo of drama, archive and contemporary footage sold at documentary prices! (But no, there is still loads of quality programmes out there – just like Nel: From Camden To Kabul, which blew me away – I’ll talk about that later!)

- When will there be a correct balance with the editorial content between the broadcaster and the producer since, apparently, all the broadcasters in the UK have held on strongly to the editorial control for programmes….

Key points of advice!

KNOW YOUR PITCH

By this target the channel by knowing exactly what the channel’s output is, do they want an ‘expert’ (Ch4, BBC2 and BBC4) or a ‘celeb’ (BB1, ITV1)?

Have a very good idea on how your pitch will play out.

Do your research: BBC commissioning website and Channel 4’s are good resources.

I really enjoyed Colin's talk because I learned a few more tips and saw the reality of how shows are tendered and put forward and how they are chosen on a tight basis, all very nitty gritty but I think with a good balance TV could be graced with some amazing shows.....I hope we have him again next year.

Today was the one of the best days I've had on this course so far.

With a class with Barbara in the morning we covered some important points about the world of being an exec producer and she's faaabulous. We looked at two very different types of programmes, discussed how they were commissioned/broadcast and what audiences they were reaching. First up was Sea of Souls (which I watched with my mum years ago when it was aired in 04) and it's just as good now. Being a mainstream programme it had all the ingredients there so to expect a large audience/following. Dawn Steele is a popular and local actress who had just finished Monarch of the Glen (which I also adored) and so she will have pulled in a high rating, likewise with Bill Paterson with the older generations. The narrative was really gripping: a character's dreams start to project themselves out into real life. It was interesting to know that it was initially intended to be a film but then was turned into a series, which I think works better as more parapsychological events could be explored, which was done, rather than just one and relationships could be developed between the central characters. I was really surprised to read later on IMdb, though, that the series has been sold to over 40 countries as of December 2005! I had never really thought about it properly before today, about selling a programme to other countries to air, but it's a bit obvious really. It was also really encouraging to hear from Barbara that the whole series was filmed in Glasgow – makes me feel happy that shows I've watched, way before coming to RSAMD and before I was looking into this world, were home-grown.

THEN I got introduced to Generation Kill. It now has a new devotee. I think the editing is excellent: snappy, but artistic at the same time. I was completely compelled by the action: it's a world I'll never see firsthand and so it's the closest I can get and its a world which fascinates me…the morals, the conversation, the no tv, no showers, no skyscrapers, no trains. No kids, no goldfish, no carpets. No highlighters, no alcohol...just a pack of smokes and letters. And a healthy dose of crude, lewd school boy jokes and slurs which are so un PC but somehow are not offensive?! Was interesting to see and talk about it....it's a programme I really liked but it's a very niche genre so it's not as “mainstream” as Sea of Souls, even though its budget is way much more!

Did you know that Rudy Reyes was played by himself?! The man is a god! I'm not talking about his face (though it's nice..) but he's a Buddhist, a top martial-arts fighter and a member of the First Recon. Barbara said that generated a lot of press by casting a real Marine fighter, which helped since none of the (numerous) actors were very well known and so it was difficult to attract huge audiences. I really really liked how they didn't rush to introduce the main characters. They were there on the edge of the screen and then brought in, or rather, shoved into your face – just like it would be in real life. Men came and went and milled about and lay on the floor. The main character – Evan 'Scribe' Wright played by Lee Tergeson – was introduced about 15 minutes in but it felt natural and fluid. Generation Kill is genius and I am so buying the box set.

I'm going to write about our guest speaker (Colin Cameron) tomorrow..

River City

Today we headed out to Dumbarton to see the River City set. No less than 5 mins in the fire alarm went off so we all poured out in the cold and stood about but when we got back in to start the tour, I felt really happy to be there!

I thought it was great that so many people had taken the trouble to talk to us and take us around the set. Seeing the backlot and the studio was a real eye-opener on how deceptive the programme is - when watching the show you'd never think that it was fake or that there was only three walls to the place!

I really liked some spaces but what I found most interesting is that you could tell instantly what type of character lived in this space and what class they would be or what kind of life from the bedspread or the way the kitchen was laid out.

The co-director (can't remember his name!) took us around the studio and answered all our questions. He made a point on how each person had their own job and that he wouldn't want to try and overtake them with it which I thought was a good piece of advice. He also mentioned that "everyone can make a contribution to an idea and I like it to be collaborative - but it's no democracy!" The main point he made was that the aim of every person on the show is to tell the story and at no point should it be lost. The director will see how it could be told and the editor should assemble them together in an understandable way etc.

The series producer took us round the backlot which was the most enjoyable part for me. Seeing how the place had been built from scratch so much of it was so believable! We saw a scene being cut and it was great seeing the crew in action. There were child actors and they shoot so that they spend as little time on set as possible. He also showed us how the schedule is broken down which was good to see and he explained how it might not always look like a lot but the when the director meets the 1st assistant it may become that one scene has a lot of detail and so most of a day may be spent on that.

Money came up quite a bit - their budget is quite tight and so they maximise every space they have and it was impressive what they had done with the spaces.

They obviously work very hard with crazy schedules and even though I don't watch River City I really enjoyed seeing the place and appreciated how they took the time to talk to us and I really respect that they work their asses off to make it work.

Home

Home? Knowing a place like the back of your hand and keeping it in your heart. I have many of them and so I was so excited when we started our 'Home' project. Both good things and bad things happened with this and I can't say whether I liked it very much in the end..

Firstly it was a great opportunity to see how all of us would work together and who would naturally become the organiser and who would be more artistically inclined, etc? Finally I was getting to work with more people than before and it would give me a glimpse of how the next three years might turn out. I got that. Some of it wasn't too pretty if I'm brutally honest.

Tensions ran sky-high and no-one was too sure on how to say it. We pulled together on the big day and we accomplished some fantastic shots and I really felt like we bonded on our trip to big ol' Loch Lomond (I love my country sometimes, the views up there...wow) A niggling but kept biting me though and it was when we'd shoot and everyone was doing a bit of this and a bit of that – none of our roles were terribly clear. I think it was wrong to ever say the word 'collaborative.' Sure, it sounded good and looked nice on paper but in practise? Nuh-uh. I was frustrated when it seemed some were being a bit greedy and kept insisting on bossing people about. There was a huge communication break down and we were cutting over each other and I know more than 4 people out of the 7 were completely ignored at times. I don't want to lay the blame at anyone's door but I was disappointed...in myself as well. I struggled to find a way to cope with the tenseness and it resulted in myself being irritable or shut off from the task in hand because I felt I'd get ignored anywayIt's something we all need to work on because in the industry no one is going to be faster to fill your shoes if you don't contribute and stand in the corner for whatever reason or by throwing your weight about and saying things you know people aren't going to appreciate.

That all said, I really enjoyed putting a 2 min film from scratch. The planning was fun and the shoot itself gave me a boost when I knew that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life – standing there, with an image in my head and then creating it. Yeah, there was lots I'd do differently but that's what we're here for: to learn. We can't be perfect and the best we can do now is take from the project, all the good things and channel them into the next project!

Into The New….

So recently us wee ones documented Into The New: performances at The Arches devised by CPP4. I was in Crew 1 with Amelie, Lucy and Julia and I think we did a great job in perfecting speedy transitions between performances and setting up/packing up!

The performances were bizarre, for my understanding of theatre anyway (and my comfort zone) but it's let me practise the best poker face in the land. That said – I really really enjoyed two performances, especially Sarah Hopfinger's. Her piece really spoke out to the audience and it made us laugh a lot which is what is worth paying for, in my opinion. She drew on her life experiences, rather than relying on shocking people by being naked as the day you were born and I respected her for it.

It was hard to know what to do sometimes, artistically, with the frame because we had to go with whatever was being done without any warning – there was no way we could say 'cut' and get a better shot! Improvisation played a large part in documenting their shows and it was good to get a feel for spontaneity with the kit, if that makes sense. (Good to kept on our toes because it meant we were constantly alert and able to sort problems with speed.)

On the other hand....there was no need for the staff to rush us unnecessarily and demanding that we cut our preparation short, even though we had turned up perfectly ahead of schedule. More importantly, how do you expect us to do our job if someone is insisting that we miss out vital preparation steps, like backfocus?!

Nevertheless we all got a good shot on the kit and it helped make the process become more natural and it showed me that, even under stress and odd timetabling, I and we can deal with it and still make the best of it!

the scouting book for boys

The reviews are a-ravin' already and I cannot wait till the 19th! I took a wee peek at the Film Distributors' Association and the title caught my eye, as did the small picture next to it. The distributor is Pathe and this ticked another box on my checklist of my 'ideal film'. It looks and sounds independent and home-grown and the reviews confirm this. And what's more, they all love it.

From what I've read it sounds like a heady summer film, richly fuelled with discovery and full of life lines being crossed, bent, pushed and snapped… apparently it goes to some dark places but nevertheless a must see. It's interesting that it's mentioned that despite this it should be released in the US - it seems that the Americans need to get a freakin' grip and stop trying to disguise truths with CGI effects (sorry, I'm still wounded after The Lovely Bones..)!

What's even more is that it is written my Skins scriptwriter Jack Thorne and directed by a young guy who goes by the name of Tom Harper - and he sounds nice because he 'has an innate feel for space and landscape and the shots, captured by Robbie Ryan, of the pair running along caravan roofs…' [Jason Solomons, THE OBSERVER] Fabulous.

This Is England's Thomas Turgoose stars alongside Holliday Grainger, who plays Emily; David's childhood friend and presumably first love interest.

I can see this being put into my favourite list but we shall see - I am wary these days….but I tell you no-one will be more delighted than me to see a beautiful summer film which has one of those twists..

uh-oh ……

I've just listened to the first two episodes of The Virtual Revolution on iPlayer…and I'm quite scared. As I sit down to listen to Dr Aleks Krotoski I notice that the first episode was broadcast at 03:05 in the morning! Why on earth did they do that? Did they not want people to sit up and notice what we are doing? Or are they scared they'll scare too many people, like I have just been scared?

Anyway Dr Krotoski says that the web has taken "our world and shaken it apart." My first reaction was "Dinny be silly, the internet is a good thing!" But I'm only exposing myself to the things I want to see on the internet: online shops like asos; www.poshgirlvintage.com; www.farfetch.com; www.adorevintage.com etc…or my facebook page (which I really, really must put on private - it's just madness to risk future employers spying my status's and pictures which only make sense to me and my friends and look plain awful to others!) …. or iplayer. The list goes on but the point is that I'm not seeing the power the internet is giving to the less nice people in the world.

Here is a website (looks perfectly trustworthy and helpful) on how to make a nuke:

http://news.softpedia.com/news/How-To-Make-An-Atomic-Bomb-53392.shtml

Excuse me? Yes, a nuclear bomb. I could easily (with some cash of course) go out now and make a pretty big bomb if I really, really wanted to. Not that I do, but it's worrying that some creep out there who has it in their head that this is their destiny to blow up people and things could do so very happily.

Dr Krotoski uses quite a few negative words when describing our virtual world: desire; control; profit; censorship…all very uncomfortable really.

A hierarchy is being created again which is ironic because the web was "designed in a way which deliberately resisted authority". The people with more resources have more power, basically.

Did you know that 1 in 3 of us have a facebook page?! That is insane. Part of me says: "Yay, I can be friends with whoever I please and I can connect to people who I thought were long gone from my life (childhood friends who I've not seen for years or people I met once but wanted to talk to again), this is a great thing." Another part just says "Oh for god's sake woman, more than half of the people in your friends on fb are people you don't even LIKE (I love the socialogical reasons behind this - do I keep them because I feel I'll have more power by seeing the pages of others and I can see what they are doing?) or even know that well, or hell, at all and it takes up so much TIME in your life when in fact, you would have stayed in touch more by phone. Or goodness me, by letters."

My best and most meaningful moments of contact with people have been on the street, away from computers and phones (there was no network to speak of) and I write to my friend in Italy and I find I'm so much more honest with her than to 99% of the facebook contacts.

Yet I still won't do the insane act of de activating my account like a friend of mine did last week…we were all in complete and utter shock. (I mean, please.)

But then Dr Krotoski says in her strangely robotic voice that the internet has opened us up to things we could have never imagined. I mean, COME ON! Do we never learn? Why do we always sound so pathetically surprised and bewildered when we start something and don't bother entertaining the thought that this just may go beyond our expectations? Why do I get the feeling we are constantly underestimating our own creations?

Now, big news. As of today I now follow Vogue and other innocuous things on Twitter. I'm starting to regret it already. I'd refused to join before because I felt that it was creepy to 'follow' people and that it would lead to some kind of new obsessive behaviour…..I don't know…..

Maybe I'll give it a week and see but I've realised with a bit of shock just how much of my life is plastered over the big www. I enjoy tagging myself in pictures and sharing funny stories online and being the first to know about something but have I gone too far?

do it big, do it right and give it class

That was MGM's motto and boy, did they do that!

The scene taken from The Great Ziegfeld was sensational - so many girls, so many men, so much material sparking and glittering, EVERYTHING was over the top and dazzling! I literally watched 'A Pretty Girl is Like A Melody' with my mouth open and I loved Dennis Morgan's voice.

Fred Astaire is amazing, period. Astaire made a hat stand looked good and I dread to think how many hours he spent just practising - his talent just pops off the screen.

Anchors Aweigh is so cute! Gene and a mouse! It's interesting though, that the "symbol of MGM musicals" - Gene Kelly in Singing In the Rain - his dancing is relatively simple compared to the other scenes I've seen in all these films. But I think it's the precision that sticks in people's minds and for me as a child I just loved he didn't mind getting wet.

The amount of swimming Esther Williams did was RIDICULOUS. I Laughed so much when she swam through the water and there were about 10 other girls sitting there smiling like anything obviously desperate to breathe!

The voice which impressed me the most though was Mario Lanza in The Toast of New Orleans with Kathryn Grayson.

All that talent with MGM is so so so much better than 75% of the talent on our screens now - or is it just that they are talented in a different way?

"we all make mistakes and we all pay a price"

I watched House for the first time EVER today (yes, yes I've got a TV at last!) ….and I must admit I was slightly impressed (: It may become a new guilty obsession…

It's American so it's no real surprise to find it's kind of cheesy and the plots are done to emotion-trip you but I still bought into it. It was thought that the girl might die but her husband got me interested - he wasn't sure if he wanted her to live because it turned out that she'd had an affair. It got me thinking how people can have affairs and still love their husband or their wife very much…where is the line for forgiveness?

Right now I'm watching a western! All very gripping stuff: there is a grandpa, Johnny (very fit young guy) and his son Abe. Johnny is an outlaw and has kidnapped Abe. Thing is Samuel (the grandpa) is starting to soften…he wants his grandson but he knows now that Johnny wants out - he left blood for him to find. OOH. I really don't know who to root for! There is a banker, who is tracking with Sam and another dude, who wants to marry Johnny's wife but Johnny wants to kill him. What a palava.

"Justice must be a sharp sword."

Nothing like American TV, really gets me everytime.

storylining ...

Today we had Kim in the morning again. Over the last week we have been in groups (Harry, Ada, Meg and I) and we've been storylining a new character into a week of Corrie. Our character is Jackie Morgan and she is the half-sister of current character Kelly. We wrote out an episode each following the story that Jackie is a lesbian, gets close to Carla (her boss) and kisses her! Kelly sees them and uses this to her own advantage (the two sisters don't get along.)

SO...today we wrote out the main 'tag' (the hook) from each episode under its day. For instance, I wrote Monday: Jackie and Carla exchange numbers. Each group had their own colour..ours was green, yay!, so when we put them on the wall there was a column of four grabbing stories under Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday.

The stories were all scrambled (in order of importance) to begin with but we started establishing the 'A story' by putting the most gripping idea in the top row and doing the same with the second most amazing idea in the row below - the 'B' line. Then there were 'C' stories etc. With a couple we put them further on in the chain - either in a row or a column in order to deliver emphasis or to tie up a story.

This was a really, really, really good exercise to have done with Kim because firstly, it was so visual. The colours were a simple but extremely effective way of drawing the eye to where the thread of the story was being put. You could easily see, almost at once, what would not sit well and what worked.
Secondly, you suddenly had a very clear time scale plan without going nuts looking at days and dates on a piece of paper. I'd imagine you could have a whole wall - with or without as much detail desired - outlining a week or a month of soap storylining.
Thirdly, it's an exercise you can apply to most types of programmes to help you plan ahead: dramas, soaps, maybe even documentaries?
FOURTHLY...you could even work out likely dates for higher viewings and arrange big 'boom-booms' accordingly or vice versa (:

River City don't use this method but Coronation Street do and Eastenders are starting to. Already the ratings for Eastenders have gone up, which is very interesting!

I'll be using this method myself plenty of times I'm sure, I really feel like I learnt a new way to storyline today and in a fun way!

i got it

I'm finally 'getting' camera! This weekend I booked rooms for me to take kit out into and play about with and a fourth year came and helped me out. I really began to piece the notes and the equipment together and I enjoyed it! Getting the back focus right was hard but the satisfaction with understanding each step through the whole process was great.

I'm going to concentrate on lighting later on the week but I've covered each part of the tasks in detail up to doing the white balance (tripod, balancing the head, setting the VF and the monitor up etc).

I'm feeling much more confident about it all and I'm hoping to have the re-sit the week after next weekend as I've booked room throughout the week and for next weekend as well.